Forgiveness is in danger of becoming a modern-day altruistic buzzword. It’s often seized upon by celebrities or social media stars to bolster their ratings as alleged humanitarians. Don’t get me wrong—I’m an “apricot” in favour of forgiveness. But not when it’s used as a tool to manipulate or grow a fan base.

True forgiveness is hard. Its pathway can feel like intense suffering—almost a kind of martyrdom. I’ve always found Christ’s words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” deeply powerful. He speaks these words from the cross—a place of anguish and distress. In that moment, He embodies the sheer difficulty of forgiving.

While on retreat, I came across this illuminating quote:

“Forgiveness is an act, not a feeling. Though it may generate feelings, forgiveness is an exercise of the will. When we forgive, we refuse to be further damaged by the wrongdoing of others.
A refusal to forgive is called a resentment. And the victim of resentment is always the one who carries it. The people we refuse to forgive may neither know nor care about our resentment.
To hang on to a resentment is to harbour a thief in the heart. By the minute and the hour, resentment steals the joy we could treasure now and remember forever. It pilfers our energy to celebrate life—to face others as messengers of grace rather than ambassadors of doom. We victimize ourselves when we withhold forgiveness.”

How true those words are.

Yet, we need God’s grace to energise our will to forgive. We need that same Spirit which enabled Jesus to release the Father’s forgiveness from the cross.

The sacrament of reconciliation offers us more than absolution—it’s an encounter with divine mercy. It’s a space where we can ask not only for forgiveness, but for the grace to forgive others.

Next time you go to confession, take a risk outside your “sacramental comfort zone.” If you’re struggling to forgive someone, talk to the priest. Ask him to pray for you as he confers absolution. And as he does, request from Jesus the grace to help you forgive someone else.

Forgiveness isn’t a performance—it’s a pilgrimage. And every step, no matter how painful, brings us closer to freedom.

“JOIN THE PARISH OF THE HEART – FOLLOW FR. APRICOT…”

POST IT, PREACH IT, PASS IT ON.